We've all done it..

Hi everybody! So, I plan on making this post kinddaaa different from the others, ya know change it up. There will still be pictures so don't get all pissy. Anyway, really the only reason I'm changing it for today's post is because, in all honesty, I feel like I'm getting a wee bit to generic with my format's and shit like that. It's not because I'm out of ideas or because I'm lazy, it's because I want to get some more variety.

So, instead of a story, I'm going to go over a list (not super long, not crazy short) of things I've done and I'm pretty sure you've all done (comically of course).

#1) Walk into a room, get distracted by some asshole, walk out of room without retrieving whatever you wanted to get.
#2) Feeling hungry but because the big game (baseball, football, basketball or whatever sport you prefer) is on so you don't wanna get up.
#3) When on FB,  literally scrolling through a wasteland of "-insert Kings of Leon or any country song deemed 'deep''
#4) Pressing down even harder on buttons of a remote control even though we know it has weak batteries (I've lost a few remotes because of that).
#5) When reading something clearly out of order thinking "idiot" then re-reading over it a few minutes later, only to realize it was in the right order and your brain is a dick.

#6) (Guys) Trying to figure out why girls post pictures of there feet when in a group...it's called Facebook not Footbook.
#7) Being friends with somebody yet you forget how you met and why you're friends.
#8) Watching a poker game on ESPN and trying to figure out why you're watching a poker game on ESPN.
#9) Playing any type of sports video game and trying to figure out how the hell you're losing to somebody who has never even played before.
#10) Losing all self confidence after looking in the mirror. (That's more for you guys, I've nnneeevveerr lost self confidence)
#11) Anything that sounds great in your head about politics or religion, can and will, make you look like a total tool.
#12) We all have our favorite happy mood song, sad mood song, tired song, writing a paper song, getting ready for a sporting event song, driving in the car and attempting to not crash the car song because you're focused on the song.
#13) Re-creating an awkward situation in your head over and over and over and over and over again until you're ready to jump off your nearest bridge or building.

#14) Doing a math problem then thinking: "When am I going to use this shit..."
#15) Texting someone in the same room about somebody else in the same room.
#16) Catching yourself in the middle of a sentence because you realize that if you say it you may come across as: Racist, sexist, extremist, overly-religious, Marxist, communistic.
#17) Over rationalizing something to the point where you have created a completely new situation.
#18) Actually thinking something good you do will earn you respect and honor....bahahahahahahahahahaha.
#19) Reading something terrible about today's society and deep down hoping the world will end because this shit is just getting out of control.
#20) Still trying to figure out why girls post pictures of there feet on facebook..
#21) Slowly sinking into your chair as you get more comfortable on your computer.
#22) Eating then thinking about those starving African kids you saw on that TV commercial...-slow gulp-
#23) Telling yourself I will call it a night after this -feel in the blank- and deciding two hours later: "Meh, I can pull an all-nighter"..then passing out on the couch.
#24) Secretly praying that Tebow will win MVP.
#25) Thinking to yourself: "I'm honestly glad I wasn't born into a celebrity couple, I'm not sure if I would want to be named Trenton Serenity Orphée Green World Peace Jones"


So there ya have it, the list of things we've all done at point or another. I'm sorry it's not longer but my brain is tired. Bye Everybody! =))

NO, THAT IS NOT OKAY--Never mind..

Hi everybody! I've got this great story so lets just skip all the BS'ing and get right to the story and pretty pictures!


So, during this past holiday break plainly put, it got cold. Now this doesn't surprise me, however, what does surprise me is the fact that my room actually got warm (I'm guessing it was about 87F). So, I decide to lumber on out to the living room where I saw my dog happily snoring away on the couch in peace...and me being myself decided "Me = Human, Dog = Animal...I win.". So after I kick her off the couch, after the snarling and snapping,  I place myself on the couch and begin to wonder "Where is she (my dog) and is she plotting against me". Then I realized that I was actually scared of a half-witted, bareley remembers who she is on a daily basis, attack her own tail because she fears it, type of dog. I had nothing to be afraid of!

 So, I fall asleep for about 2 hours. Now it's about 4am and I need something to drink, so I get up, bolt to the kitchen, search in the dark for a glass, nearly drop said glass on 12 different occasions and run back to my couch after being happily re-hydrated. But, to my surprise, I see her. Right there. ON MY COUCH. MY. COUCH. THIS IS NOT OKAY!--Wait..she just cried in her sleep...f*** me. I now have to adjust her so that I become the little spoon and she doesn't feel threatened thus I can wake up with both eyes not gouged out. When I finally get situated and 67% happily in place, my dog lays her muzzle on my jugular so that if I make a break for it she gets a taste of some A- blood. The only thing running through my head at this point is: "hahahahah, this will make a great stor- zzzzzzzzzzzz" Yep, fell asleep mid thought. I had a great night's sleep but things took a turn for the worse, as always. I was awakened at the crisp and early time of 7am - in the morning by a thundering woman in my living room yelling: "HAHA, SUCK IT BITCH, I BEAT YO ASS AT FANTASY FOOTBALL. OOHH YEAH. OOHH YEEEAAHHHH!" Not only did she sound like the giant kool-aid guy when she did that but she reminded me how much I cherished sleep and how much she cherished my lack thereof. But hey, you can't pick your mom...or dogs. Okay, I could have picked a different dog but what did I know? It's not like I knew I was picking Satan's ex-mutt from hell.

I guess after all of that, I really learned one thing: Never trust your dog. I don't care if they're man's best friend. They're evil creatures who lurk in the dark and wait for their vengeance. I mean, people say cats are smart and cats are crafty...what does that make dogs? Black motherf***ing Op's is what it makes them.

 I mean Seal Team 6 has nothing on 'em..but hey, it could be worse...right? GUYS?!

Alright that's all I've got for today guys, I'll see you soon! Bye everyone! =)

Quick update!

Hi everybody! I know it's been awhile (close to 4-ish months) since I last posted and honestly, that sucks. Because I have been so busy I've forsaken this blog...and I'm sorry. Okay, now that we have that shit outta the way, I ALSO wanted to let you all know that I'm really trying to figure out how to take this thing to the next level. Not saying that I don't like it here on the bottom of the barrel but it'd be nice to see what other crazy stuff I can do with bigger and better options. Back to my main point, I expect to produce the best and funniest stories/pictures/whatever the hell else I decide to throw in this little pot o' ridiculous I created. I, in all honesty, can't wait to get back to work and begin the epic year of 2013....wait, I don't get a year off? F***ING F*** DAMN IT!...I mean....yay. All kidding aside though, I've got about 3 - 4 blogs coming in the next several weeks so be on the lookout for those.

Bye everyone! =)

Life: The amusement park that charges waaayy to much

Hi, everybody! So, I'm assuming you all know the saying "Life is like a roller coaster, blah blah blah". Well, yeah. I've learned over the past few weeks that life really is one, and if you don't hold on to those bars that are way to f-ing tight, you're gonna get your ass kicked and fly off screaming. By that I mean, If you don't have good friends to hold on to, you're gonna get pummeled. Fun stuff! Anyway, you can't really predict which way the roller coaster is gonna go, like every amusement ride (they should be called evil torture devices) at Disney World. And if you can predict which way it's gonna and you tell people about it, you're just gonna get weird looks because people think you're insane, which 9 times outta 10, you are. If you manged to stay with me and my train of thought there, I'm impressed. I'm pretty sure following that was like trying to climb Mt. Everest..

By the way, if you grandfather goes and tries to climb Mt. Everest...I'm sorry.

So, story time? I say yes.
There was this time I was dared (keep in mind, I was 12 and I liked dares) to climb a this hugeeee pile of dirt at my baseball field and anyone who climbed this pile of dirt was a considered a total "bad ass" and since I was a total "wimp" I needed something to boost my status among my peers. So, I spend about a week preparing for hell. Climbing up the hills in my neighborhood, eating things I thought tough people like..nails. Yeah, so after I got out of the hospital, I went to to that pile of dirt, I put on my good plastic cleats and RAN UP THAT MOTHERF***ER! What happened after that? I took a stick, carved in "JG" and exclaimed "I AM THE THE KING OF THE HILL!" Which, apparently, in kids terms means: "Lets play king of the hill, come try to knock my block off". So, the biggest kid around comes charging up the hill and shoves me off the hill, I then learned my first life lesson about people..Never yell out unintentional challenges with the world's largest kid  within 500 ft of you. They can hear you at the snack shack...

So, everybody, I hope you enjoyed the post. Thanks for reading and have a great day! =D
Bye everyone!

Ahh, Fall!

Hello, everyone. All I have to say is: Ahh, Fall. The best season of the year. There's just something about running and jumping right into a pile of leaves until the sunsets...or until you have leaves down your crack...then things just get ugly. But, honestly, even though the air gets colder and the sun sets about 50 hours early, you can't help but enjoy the small things about fall....like all the insects slowly dieing off. Now, some may argue that winter or summer is, but let's be honest, the only reason we accept those drastic weather changes is either because we get to be lazy or because we get to buy loads of shit for our friends and show off what we got. Other than that, we're either sweating our asses off or freezing 'em.

  See, there's the problem with our society...we set our goals and hopes WAAYYY to high...like Bob Marley high. If we just said to our selves "I just want a regular desk job" instead of "I'MMA BE A MOTHERF****** ROCKET SCIENTIST" life would be so much better. Honestly, when was the last time you saw someone try to run into traffic because they met all of their life goals and were completely happy with it. Yeah, Jake logic is good logic. But in all seriousness, I think setting your goals high is a great thing, just don't do it for everything...nobody likes an elite poop picker upper.

So, my final words for this post post, NEVER..EVER...complain about fall. It could be so much worse..I'm looking at you Australia. Bye everyone!