Life: The amusement park that charges waaayy to much

Hi, everybody! So, I'm assuming you all know the saying "Life is like a roller coaster, blah blah blah". Well, yeah. I've learned over the past few weeks that life really is one, and if you don't hold on to those bars that are way to f-ing tight, you're gonna get your ass kicked and fly off screaming. By that I mean, If you don't have good friends to hold on to, you're gonna get pummeled. Fun stuff! Anyway, you can't really predict which way the roller coaster is gonna go, like every amusement ride (they should be called evil torture devices) at Disney World. And if you can predict which way it's gonna and you tell people about it, you're just gonna get weird looks because people think you're insane, which 9 times outta 10, you are. If you manged to stay with me and my train of thought there, I'm impressed. I'm pretty sure following that was like trying to climb Mt. Everest..

By the way, if you grandfather goes and tries to climb Mt. Everest...I'm sorry.

So, story time? I say yes.
There was this time I was dared (keep in mind, I was 12 and I liked dares) to climb a this hugeeee pile of dirt at my baseball field and anyone who climbed this pile of dirt was a considered a total "bad ass" and since I was a total "wimp" I needed something to boost my status among my peers. So, I spend about a week preparing for hell. Climbing up the hills in my neighborhood, eating things I thought tough people like..nails. Yeah, so after I got out of the hospital, I went to to that pile of dirt, I put on my good plastic cleats and RAN UP THAT MOTHERF***ER! What happened after that? I took a stick, carved in "JG" and exclaimed "I AM THE THE KING OF THE HILL!" Which, apparently, in kids terms means: "Lets play king of the hill, come try to knock my block off". So, the biggest kid around comes charging up the hill and shoves me off the hill, I then learned my first life lesson about people..Never yell out unintentional challenges with the world's largest kid  within 500 ft of you. They can hear you at the snack shack...

So, everybody, I hope you enjoyed the post. Thanks for reading and have a great day! =D
Bye everyone!

Water + Laptop = Saddest day of my life!

Hi everybody! By the title alone you can tell I'm legit depressed about the loss of a dear friend...my little laptop. So, here's how it all went down...literally. 
I was walking into my room looking for my laptop and I had absolutely no idea where it was, so I started where everything gets lost in my house, my bedroom. It's like a black hole mixed with a hoover vacuum cleaner. So that if you drop a single thing within a 10 mile radius of it, it will be consumed by my evil bedroom. So, as I walk into my room I see it, my prize, my laptop! I run to it with excitement and pure joy. But then, as my luck would freaking have it, I trip on one of my shoe's and start falling, as I grab to reach dramticaly for my dresser, I accidently push a cup of water on to my laptop. After I regrouped and pulled the gum off of me that was on my floor from 5 months ago (don't even ask), I heard a faint sizzling sound. The sound that you hear when you truly know you're screwed. So, as any normal teenager would do, I start flipping out and throwring towels among towels among towels onto to my suffering laptop and attempt to drain it. TIP OF THE DAY: DO NOT GRAB SOMETHING THAT IS SIZZLING. I now have a "Dell Core Duo Processor" scold mark on my hand. Now whenever I wave, I'm like a flipping billboard for Dell. Gotta love it. So, after fighting back the urge to use every cuss word in the book, I take my laptop's battery out in a sad, futile, attempt to save my little buddy. Sadly though, it failed. I could not rescue what I had been so careful with before (nevermind the fact that it had 8 missing buttons, the USB ports were shot, and it made a Transformers type sound whenever I attempted to click on ebay to look for a new computer). STILL, it was my little buddy and I will miss him. The moral of this story: Never ever ever put water near a laptop unless you feel like shelling out some big $.

Besides that little "Eff my life and send it to McDonalds" moment, my weekend has been great! Well, I'm gonna peace out to look for a new computer that isn't a decepticon. Bye guys! (and girls too!) =)

(Again, thank you to my awesome friend Lily for making the picture)