Hi everybody! I've got this great story so lets just skip all the BS'ing and get right to the story and pretty pictures!
So, during this past holiday break plainly put, it got cold. Now this doesn't surprise me, however, what does surprise me is the fact that my room actually got warm (I'm guessing it was about 87F). So, I decide to lumber on out to the living room where I saw my dog happily snoring away on the couch in peace...and me being myself decided "Me = Human, Dog = Animal...I win.". So after I kick her off the couch, after the snarling and snapping, I place myself on the couch and begin to wonder "Where is she (my dog) and is she plotting against me". Then I realized that I was actually scared of a half-witted, bareley remembers who she is on a daily basis, attack her own tail because she fears it, type of dog. I had nothing to be afraid of!
So, I fall asleep for about 2 hours. Now it's about 4am and I need something to drink, so I get up, bolt to the kitchen, search in the dark for a glass, nearly drop said glass on 12 different occasions and run back to my couch after being happily re-hydrated. But, to my surprise, I see her. Right there. ON MY COUCH. MY. COUCH. THIS IS NOT OKAY!--Wait..she just cried in her sleep...f*** me. I now have to adjust her so that I become the little spoon and she doesn't feel threatened thus I can wake up with both eyes not gouged out. When I finally get situated and 67% happily in place, my dog lays her muzzle on my jugular so that if I make a break for it she gets a taste of some A- blood. The only thing running through my head at this point is: "hahahahah, this will make a great stor- zzzzzzzzzzzz" Yep, fell asleep mid thought. I had a great night's sleep but things took a turn for the worse, as always. I was awakened at the crisp and early time of 7am - in the morning by a thundering woman in my living room yelling: "HAHA, SUCK IT BITCH, I BEAT YO ASS AT FANTASY FOOTBALL. OOHH YEAH. OOHH YEEEAAHHHH!" Not only did she sound like the giant kool-aid guy when she did that but she reminded me how much I cherished sleep and how much she cherished my lack thereof. But hey, you can't pick your mom...or dogs. Okay, I could have picked a different dog but what did I know? It's not like I knew I was picking Satan's ex-mutt from hell.
I guess after all of that, I really learned one thing: Never trust your dog. I don't care if they're man's best friend. They're evil creatures who lurk in the dark and wait for their vengeance. I mean, people say cats are smart and cats are crafty...what does that make dogs? Black motherf***ing Op's is what it makes them.
I mean Seal Team 6 has nothing on 'em..but hey, it could be worse...right? GUYS?!
Alright that's all I've got for today guys, I'll see you soon! Bye everyone! =)
